


You Will Never Remember

by Cernunnos



Category: Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 19:37:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cernunnos/pseuds/Cernunnos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ples will never truly know how lucky he is to forget, and the darkest part of him intends to keep it that way for his own good.</p><p>(Underage rape/non-con is only IMPLIED)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Will Never Remember

You were never meant to like me. You _do_ hate me, don’t you, Tibenoch? Of course you do. Let us not forget all of the ills I’ve caused you to suffer: every morning you woke with blood on your hands and not the faintest recollection of how that gentleman’s body found itself to be tucked away in the closet beneath the stairs.  You never remember, and that’s what you hate most: as if my ‘stealing’ your identity would be permissible if only I allowed you a simple memory. You’ll never know how lucky you are.

 

You will never remember how those reprehensible creatures stared at this body: violating it with their very eyes. You will never remember the hands that refused to cease their exploration.  You will never remember shuddering beneath their touch, nor the pain that they inflicted upon you. You would swoon to think that the pain I have caused you is so minute compared to what I have suffered in your place. Aching joints and migraines are _nothing_ compared to torn flesh and a vile taste that lingers long after several cups of tea.

 

And yet you fear me… You fear _me_ : your very protector! The very man that would allow you to grasp at naivety and innocence! The very man that would keep those wandering hands at bay and strike down every animal that would seek to cause you harm!

 

Did you not _create_ me, Tibenoch?! Did you not create me for this sole purpose?! Why else would I exist if not but to protect you?! Because of me, you will never again lie under a man and weep and pray to a God that does not hear you! Because of me, you carried on a childhood of relative normalcy! Because of me, you will remember only the best of your tutors, your mentors, your peers, and your kin! Because of me, you will remember kneeling before the Father only to take guidance in prayer! Because of me, you will remember only your mother’s gentle touch as she washed the cuts along your cheek even as your blood crusted dry beneath her nails!

 

And after all I have done for you, after all I have saved you from, you would still seek to dispel me! How tempted I am to remind you! How tempted I am to _destroy_ you with the very knowledge of all I have done to keep you safe! If you would go so far as to mutilate your body to escape the physical pain that accompanies my presence, then what would you do to escape what I have freely taken unto myself? Did you not already create me for that? And if I am the definition of madness itself, then what other recourse would you have? Where else would you turn but the bottom of a bottle and the pistol in the bedside drawer? I know you too well, Tibenoch, and you have inherited every ounce of your mother’s cowardice!

 

You fight so frantically and plead so desperately; you would demonize your very savior if only to recover what you mistake to be precious. For every body that you have found and every splash of blood on your hands, there is a story that you will never know: a story that you _must not remember_ lest the flood be released and consume you whole.

 

Oh, Tibenoch… Poor, poor Tibenoch… So long as I exist, you will never know how lucky you are to have me. So long as I exist, dear Tibenoch, you will never remember.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always theorized that Ples suffers from Dissociative Identity Disorder (sometimes referred to as Jekyll-Hyde Syndrome), which is commonly thought to occur, especially in children, after highly traumatic experiences such as bouts of physical or sexual abuse. Often, different identities may share memories, or have totally divergent ones. In my head-canon, Ples's alternate personality (whom I've dubbed 'Lucien') is 'self-aware' regarding his existence and, while not entirely pure by any means, fashions himself as a protector of what little sanity Ples retains.
> 
> I'd also like to note that persons suffering from DID often complain of chronic joint pain, which I use as an explanation for Ples's mysterious ticking and bleeding a mixture of blood and oil. Increasingly desperate and driven to the brink by chronic pain, it serves to reason that he might have sought to relieve himself the suffering by replacing his joints with automated parts.


End file.
